"In My Alternate Reality...

Dennis dies and I win the lottery." -Liz Lemon, 30 Rock.

And with an insincere invitation and a nervous (but full) stomach, our heroine journeyed to the Land of the Rat King to participate in a video project for Dennis and his band.

No she didn't belong there. No Dennis didn't really want her there. But the experience was really good for her, so Liz chose to defy all social norms and go anyway.

And face the rat king.

Apparently her presence caught the attention of the other rat, AKA Floyd. An evening of flirtatious exchanges turned into a text after Liz returned home: "Hey can I come over and watch Men in Tights with you?"

Liz was not proud of what happened next.

"Sure." Sure? No! Not sure! Relationship! With herself! No shaving! God damnit.

So Floyd came over and together they watched the hilarity of Mel Brooks. Floyd left the next morning with crumpled jeans and pain in his lower back from falling asleep on his cell phone. Liz briefly considered the situation she had put herself in, then pulled off her bra and fell back to sleep.

Liz was very proud of what happened next.

Later that day, her good friend K, whom we'll call Pete (who is actually a girl but has more balls than half the boys Liz knows) shared with Liz the story of one tired and angry Dennis who was late returning equipment he'd checked out the day before.

Dennis arrived fifteen minutes after his return deadline in a very sour mood. When Pete asked what was wrong, he responded: "Floyd was supposed to help me pack up this equipment an hour ago but he left for some girl's house last night and hasn't come back."

"Gee dude, that really sucks," Said Pete. Her face looked something like the picture.

In Liz's alternate reality, things like this happen all the time. Sometimes, though, it's pretty gosh darn awesome sauce when they turn out that way in this reality every once in a while.

Besides, in Liz's alternate reality, Tracy runs her over with a jet ski.